What do you do when ....
You strive for love and peace and a harmonious relationship of healthy discussion and the partner you are with just lashes out alot and gets defensive alot so that your goal of resolution and peace can never be obtained thru open communication ?
What do you do when....
Your calling in life is to be a Life Coach and as you practice by lovingly sharing your insights to all those in your circle and they value and respect you but your significant other reacts as if its a competition of right and wrong or whos better ?
What do you do when..
You applaud the talents and giftings of your partner at every opportunity and highlight all his strengths but when you need to discuss an area of growth he reacts as if you are his enemy?
What do you do when...
Your partner says I love you and then waits for the expected response and when this one time he doesnt get it his feelings are hurt..and u realise that his "I love you" was infact not him loving you but a manipulative request "Tell me you love me" and when he didnt get it his feelings were hurt.
What do you do when..
You have to walk on eggshells around your partner because he is supersensitive and explosive...and when you accidently trigger it like a tornado it destroys everything in its path, with no regard for adult or child.
What do you do when..
You need to cry cos youre a woman and in that journey of releasing your tears you know it will be cleansing and healing and you might even find something out about yourself...but he gets angry and takes it as if you are telling him he did something wrong and blaming him ...when all you needed was arms to hold you while you release and a tender word of "Its ok baby, we can figure this out"
What do you do when..
You start to cry and its starting to flow and you just need this cry and then his anger sends a message to your spirit that this is not a safe place to be vulnerable.... and your tears stop like a shut off valve..while inside your heart is aching.
What do you do when..
You only have love and goodness to share and his best interests...and he protects himself as if you are the enemy.
What do you do when..
He positions himself behind you in company and when you are talking and sharing honestly and interracting he makes faces behind your back demeaning you and shaking his head so that other people are being told by him you are a liar....when infact you are sharing your heart.
What do you do when..
He says he had a great day, ... but there is one thing that you would like to discuss and all of a sudden he takes it as an attack and starts to throw up so many things about the day when 5 minuites ago he said he had no problem with the day.
What do you do when..
You are emotionally spent and exhausted and need some sleep ....and after struggling and praying for a long time for sleep to come... he wakes you to say he is going home with no regard for your health.
What do you do when..
He has so many weapons stored in his arsenal that at every discussion he pulls out the right one from the past to attack you with so that you can never stay on topic and resolve one issue as he just goes off down another rabbit trail and another...never seeking peace but just venting and destroying as he goes.
What do you do when...
Your goal is peace and he makes war.
What do you do when..
You watch his mother behave the same way and it hits you like a ten ton truck that he is in a toxic relationship with his mother and you realise that he has lived this way with her for 37 years and the toxicity is so thick that he doesnt see it... and he is being damaged by it every single day but he wont stop the cycle by leaving.
What do you do when..
You realise that he has lived such a sheltered life that the majority of what he has ever said to you consisted of movie lines or music videos (if it was good) or learned behaviour from the toxic relationship with his mother (if it was bad) ..and that there was nothing else ... (All the beauty you thought you had was either copied from a movie or music video or was a manipulation to get something to feed his insecurities)
What do you do when..
It all hits you at once and the pieces fall into place and you have to come out of the denial of believing and you feel like your heart is broken because you realise that he is hanging onto all these things and not fully ready to surrender to change and face his demons and live a life of love.
What do you do when..
You just have to let go of the dream...because it was never real in the first place ..it was all just your own hopes and desires and faith and believing..... your own encouraging and overlooking.... your own believing the best.
...and then...
What do you do when your heart is broken and the acceptance of coming out of denial hits you so hard that you feel sick and numb with grief and you walk around in a daze...
then...
What do you do?
I will tell you what you do ! Like every other strong woman before you...You keep on going..putting one foot in front of the other... in hope of a better day.... and it will come !!! Maybe not today or even Tommorrow but it will come!!!
To all my sisters .... every woman in the world !!!!
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